Dutch beer: Really?

(obligatory photo of Amsterdam: canal, bicycle, swans)

So, I am never one to condemn things en masse. I usually have good perspective, and understand that there are always exceptions to rules. I don't like asparagus, but it's not so bad with some Dijon mustard. I am not a fan of licorice, but it's a pretty amazing flavor in absinthe. I don't love spiders, but I appreciate that they have a place in breweries.

Dutch beer, though? Really, the Dutch?

I recently traveled to Amsterdam for the first time. I hadn't heard much about Dutch beer, but I knew that I shouldn't judge it by Heineken and Grolsch, my only two experiences with the country's beers. I found out about 't Arendsnest, "The Eagle's Nest," a Dutch-centric beer bar with many tap options and many more bottles. The atmosphere is lovely, the tables brown and the walls and the walls are covered with Dutch beer signs.

('t Arendsnest)

I tried, along with my co-adventurer, many of the tap selections and a few bottles. Ranging from light blondes («Texels Skuumkoppe» - I don't know what I should have expected from a beer called Skuumkoppe - the brewery translates it as "Foam Top" but Google translate seems more accurate by calling it "Parasitic Coupling") to American-style pale ales (SNAB Pale Ale - from "Dutch Alternative Brewery," which prides itself on making the first APA in Europe by displaying a roadsign of Arizona Route 66 on its website) to licorice tripels (Sint Servattumus Zoethouter Tripel - definitely more fun to say than to drink), to stouts as black as the canals at night (Emelisse Espresso Stout - at 10% it was one of the hottest, most alcoholic, most potent beers I've ever had - strong and coffee, but boy it tasted stronger than the De Garre 11.5%!)

One beer, and potentially one brewery, was intriguing - SSS, by De Molen (The Mill, in Dutch - named after the 1697 windmill that houses the brewery) It was a Tripel Stout, with very sturdy chocolate and coffee notes. At 9.99% it was hefty, but not hot. I only had a sample, as it was the end of a long night, but if I were to go back, I'd stick to De Molen. I think there's something going on there.

In the end, I tried 12 of the best-respected microbreweries in The Netherlands. I was impressed by only one of the beers, and it was still a bit unbalanced. I'm certainly not the most discerning of beer judges, but I'd like to think I have a bit of experience under my belt. So, here's what I say: if you're coming to northern Europe for the beer, stick to Belgium. Leave the Dutch to do other things well. I think I'll stick to the jenever:

(mmm, cranberry and raspberry...)

«Stay tuned for another episode of So It Geuze about Dutch beer - this time about a brewery run by psychiatric patients!)

De Garre Tripel: Melodious Malts, Harmonic Hops

Recent notes from Staminée de Garre, a tiny hard-t0-find pub in Bruges that features a house Tripel found n'elsewhere...

The first smell is the orchestra tuning up. The yeasty warmth stacks skyward as the fifths of the string section stretch into perfect tune, violins upon violas upon celli upon basses.

A beautiful head on the beer gives off spices like the plucked notes of a harp.

A sip: warmth. The low strings and bassoons start. A rare smooth creaminess feels like the woody timbre of an oboe, maybe a quintet of French horns playing in unlikely harmony.

There is a surprising staccato bitterness punctuating the beer. Each sip has a sharp bite in perfect complement to the soft texture, the pizzicato violas playing alongside bowed cellos.

Below it all the timpani rumbles: this beer is 11.5%. It doesn't taste like it, but it's there, a low thumping on the skull, undeniable and unstoppable.

The end of the glass. You want more. Encore, please. Just stay seated.

This beer is next to perfect.

Good thing I bought a 1.5L magnum of the stuff and didn't drop it on my way back to Brussels, dreaming on the train ride home of malts and melodies...


(Disclaimer: to be honest, I didn't write that in my notes at the bar. My notes are more like "Mmm!" and "11.5%! WHOA!" and similar nothings. But I swear I was thinking about oboes the whole time.)